School Reports

My children have their parent’s evening coming up which means the inevitable school reports. They generally say as much as possible without really telling you anything meaningful. Perhaps there are lists of politically correct stock phrases that teachers can choose from? The most popular must be “could do better” but surely no one actually writes that any more?

Here are a few more well know phrases and some tongue-in-cheek interpretations:

“needs to pay more attention” - does not listen
“reluctant to participate” - in their own little world
“shows improvement” - not sure which child is yours
“a pleasure to teach” - teacher’s pet
“shows potential” - if only your child would do some work
“lively” - ignores all rules
“sensitive” - prone to crying
“enjoys his/her own company” - has few friends
“loves sharing” - will not shut up
“hard working” - tries hard

However, some teachers are quite gifted at writing accurate and funny reports. When I was at primary school I was the only girl playing rugby and my report read: “A promising little hooker“!! I don’t think you would find anything so un-pc in a report today but my parents thought it was hilarious.

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